may

https://ippotsk.bandcamp.com/album/seeyalater-stratocaster
I think the purpose of all theses pages of journaling is to not use them anymore at a moment, feeling safe enough with what i have in the tangible world to not have the necessity to speak to the void. it's 3am, it's raining and the sound is beautiful
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My relation with masturbation is quite good atm ! I like how i touch myself and with the hormones i have a big libido. Orgasm is not the same on testoterone and oestrogen, that's funny.
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Want to prepare "snail mail or letters" with my illustrations in it and make sort of subscription
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https://animego.net/19-the-summer-hikaru-died.html
AnimeKai is done ono :c AnimeGo seems good
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i'm thinking about shaving my hair (i realise that i just have an autistic crisis by don't know how to manage empathy and frustration, all the emotions)
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i think i don't put the same amount of importance to birthday (and explicity mine) that a lot of people, i think is very joyful to celebrate things but that a little to much for me when i'm the center of attention, explicialy by people i don't like; please stop now, i start to feel attacked by people again
it's like swords in my back while i'm obligate to stay silent, because they're nice by obligation i can't tell what i really think. Hate politesse c'est bon là
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Today i saw my brother, i want to cry, every interaction with my family is difficult to me. I know they make all efforts but i'm not feeling confortable to be the center of their attention. Yesterday was so hard also. Thanks to my chosen family to be there. Just by your existence i'm so grateful. I promise to myself and others that one day i will speak but mutism is such a confort zone for me, destroying my desire to live by gaslighting myself around people. Birthday is never a happy experience for me. Hope that one day i will be free from that feeling of sadness, it's a gloomy day and i smile at the grey sky with tears in my eyes
Need to focus on my exams and a bunch of drawings to make
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I think one of my biggest interest is finding out what hurts people (and drawing the same doodle every day)
i'm not a morning person sorry fwiend
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healing is not a reason for cultural appropriation. Understanding the need to escape is important and it can be a way to connect with others things, but it's a very interesting way to fight racism to think about that. "white culture" and the relation with healing is so fucked up, colonialisme mixed up with soft power give you the sensation of growing up with a lot of cuteness all around you while destruction is just nearby. Subculture is a big thing and it's not a reason to have a paternalist discussion with all ready marginalize peeps. Life can be fun but where we find joy is a political question.
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oyeay thankyou girli

I can't work. I caaaaaaaaaaaaaan't. Is it me or neocities change a bit? the buttons are more square?
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Hi May, i'm sorry that i didn't update here, i lost my charger lol how coding works actually?

that was not my style sowy i do it again, i lost everything ahahaha
okok here we go again, don't stress out Lou, it's just like a game, now add some drawings
maybe?
i'm addicted to my phone aaaaaah it freaks me out

heyo my name is Lou ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა if you want to contact me about anything you can at gloums@proton.me ♡