Main focus:
feelings can't be resolve; you need presence in your life that allows you to express yourself and share emotions with
interdependance
make fwiends and be happy and accept my autism and focus on knowing how i communicate and so and so
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by inadvertence i deleted bunch of notes lol watching Goodbye Lara (yuri i hope) it's very dramatic ahaha but i think i may like it.
i colored my hairs and i think it looks sick (i think about do it all blue but i may see) i study romanyah everyday.
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today is the dayyyy
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i can make a shrine for undertale/deltarune owo
https://fountaintale.neocities.org/comics/firstissue
https://teppyslayouts.neocities.org/
i have installed eastward that Sam gave me with their steam account, let's give it a try before sleep time
update after 1hour of playing: i like it, very beautiful, but it's not very convinient to play without a manette (just a point i don't like how the girl is treat and i think it can ruin my journey on it. + for me the dialogues are not very fluid but i'm very specific with that i think, and more peaky because it was in french and i understand a lot .-. so i'm more critic idk i only play 1hour it's not enough to appreciate a univers)
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i did a little journaling, cry a lot, plan to take a big break of social media and computer during paris expedition. need to take some paper to write. I have to think that i'm not blocked there, i can reback home whenever i want, i have money, i have my legal papers, i have free will. nobody is gonna kill me or r4pe me or arrest me or whatever my mind is trying to tell me. my friends don't hate me or idk. i can take the bus, i'm a responsable adult and my plants will not die. if 2 weeks is too long i can reback in 1 and nobody will be disappointed.
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i meet cheap jewels hiiiiiiiii i have now their cd :))
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my clovers are so happy i'm sad to let my plants while i'm travelling ;; yesterday i was mith my bagpack on the street i was feeling very confident and free, i have to think about that
i finished chap 1 and 2 now my life is on pause lol
i thought the depart to vacation was today but it's tomorrow, sometime i'm dumb with dates and hours. i go to paris from the 23 to the 4 (the 5 it's my grandpa deathday) so it's like almost 2 weeks. I'm very anxious, planned to cancel everything huhu i don't feel like i fit anywhere, my friends seem almost unconfortable to me
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i really like how on the wiki they are diging to the point of cherching in the files of the games the UNUSED CONTENT and ask why they even exist, what was their point at the begining and so and so. I was doing that with undertale huhu and it mooves me to see that on the internet
i just discover that there is a fangame who is a prequel of undertale named undertale yellow, like an actual all game, released 3 years ago. My summer will be geeky
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i love this game so much ;; played 2 days row
i don't understand everything (because my english is terrible) but i understand enough to be very emotionnal ahahah i love all the characters aaaaaaaaaaaah
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all the fan made animations ;-;
YES I AM FOX YES I AM
i cried so much at the end of chap1 TwT my little heart
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very tired today, playing deltarune calm me i was so anxious huhu
i just love himmmmm
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J'suis au parc entrain de dessiner des furrys et y avait perrrrsoooonne, juste des corneilles qui sont venues me dire coucou au début (tout tout près) puis y avait des chiens et maintenant y a juste deux lesbiennes qui rigolent un peu plus loin hihi c cool 🌱
happy sundayyyyy yepepeeeee
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ok void i have a break tomorrow im gonna play deltarune these night but want to draw furries. ok i just play 1 hour is so good, i return to be young (i'm a 28 years old grandma), they were really my friends lol ralsei is so cute i want to create an insta where i post only furry content... gloomypaw?
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i sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeept yeay i cried so much yesterday i was at my limit ahahahahaha i return working in 20minutes aaaaaaaaah
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sketch from the image at the left, i dreamed awake about making edits ahahah
i'm not good today lack of sleep, it's permanent this night i will sleep. must write on my skin to not consume contents all night long. i worked well. i will continue to draw furries lol goodbye void you are burning my brain
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getting older overwhelming me at a point i was not prepared like i read so many feminist book, it's only the eyes of others i have on me that affect my confidence. also the fact i suranalise everythng and always think i'm the problem comes from narcissique parents and education in general in know and so and so but i want to get rid of that please. today is a good day, i need to be positive !!!!! need a positive mindset now !! i'm going to put make up, i was very happy last night and powerfull with it ! A shower, a good tea with biscuit and go out !! It's soooooooo hot, skin is sticky and everything seem to burn
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i put an emo make up oooonnn feel so good !!
i'm feeling very feminine these days, i want to wear dresses also, need to take some reference !! we are going to paris and there is some special thrift stores for alt styles !! i think is a bit overpriced huhu
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I SAID MY THIIIIIIIIIIIINGS I SAID IT i'm so proud i'm so proud, i did the cleaning and ask to one person to do a little more, they says they will try (i don't really beleive them because i did their dishes just after) but I SAID IT and if i have the chance i will say it again, i'm proud of me (i want to clean the all house ;; but there is so much) also i'm practicing "open questions" in conversation, it's very hard huhu but i will make me be a better yapper
i have the feeling that i failed all the interactions again, how people do to speak, i'm losing my capacities. i think about moving out again it's too much compromised here for me even if they accept me and i like my room, i don't fit. i think i need a bit more organisation because i do a lot of the chores and unbalance stress me. i'm really not perfect but i tend to be a little more happy because i'm not good and find explications can be overwhelming. i need to talk to them about that but we don't do anything all together annd i don't want to talk about that to one to one
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i'm thinking a lot about decora ahaha lockin one hour drawing for a magazine and after stop it i just watch streamers talking ahahah i love peeps on the internet so much :c
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today i had sociabilisation wesssshhhh i'm so not acceptable ;-; please i don't want to think about how bad i was, i try my best to not vent and explose. i cried 2 times in the street after appointement(it's totally ok but i'm not secure at all as who i am)
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stickers idea :
emo and punks against norms together
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i dreamed avout cavetown ahahahaha
he was eating in a restaurant .-. just that and we were beside doing our life and when we noticed him we were just "he's so prettyyyyy" ahahahahaha edit: just remember that he was wearing a t shirt from sid !!! ahahah
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should train my btain to remember things on my way and make jokes of it
https://youtu.be/TJA3Zu2rXaE?is=2GYg60kAdsDNhAvG i'm gonna be the funny gxrl who is confident with conversation(*˘︶˘*)｡♡
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i'm so happy that lilhoneybear is into girrrrls now (i knew it fufufufu) after broke up with this boy (very restrictive relationship in her making as a person i'm very amazed that she actually build a artistic carrier despite being in a heterosexual relationship, what a warrior), i'm just so emotionnal when women are free of man :') hagging out with her friends and looking at the nature after doing some crayon's drawings, go romantic whimsy wolf gxrl!!! like her hair btw, thinking of have a little of black in my orange hair as well ! also, i think i'm a lesbian maker, if you're by my side and want to continue; you're just becoming a lesbian. that's to systematic to not be true. also i don't hanging out with hetero.a, it's so energy consuming to explain everything again and again, i just mute myself now and be angry. because i just break the whole mood if there is heterosexuals huhu i have the impression of making themselves sad while i just telling my truth that they don't hear often because they are in this weird world of delulu and violence that they legitimate (by survival i knoooow it's more complicated that just "broke up" i was with a cis man). i don't know how to be chill with that :c a girl this week said to me that her mother project her fear on her and i think i'm doing that all the time lol
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For the punk market i can do:
plushies
drawings etc ofc
maybe a fanzine ? i bit more fancy than the average i do ? with all my hard thoughts in it héhéhéhé
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sorry to the background you were destroying my eyes
i wanted to go to do a bike trip today to see the big trees and the bridges of bx but the sun hellya
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plant's day !!
they were some baby plants in the water from the "free plants spot" at my art school
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haaaanww
4 months ago??? the fandom is still amazing;the animation is insane
socialisation went so good, i love Mat so much she's my friend i want to cry she is like a very important member of my life and i'm so grateful to just have the chance to speak to her. i'm rebecoming that chatty person idk how to discribe this feeling, maybe i'm performing a lot with her and masking (she's the most "normy" in my circle i would say, she's making efforts to understand neuroatypies and weirdos lol) i say to her everything (that part of "cis feminine" relationships that is hard to understand for some people) she likes to know intimitacy and secrets and so and so she's laughing, crying and be in anger. She's french ahahahah speaking a lot, make dinner at the same time while listening to the radio. She's so impressive for me and i'm a little bit fascinate sometime, she likes to take care of people, to demonstrate that her house is well to be in also, her attitude is like a movie.
Sometimes i had the feeling when i was living in this house with 4 french people that i was in a french movie completly disconnect from the reality huhu i told them, it's not in theirs backs promise! the fact is that it was easier to tell things to them that to my actual roomates. But i had way more the impression of "be the TRANS GAY WEIRDO that we tolerate because they shy and belgian" that now. Here in my new house i feel like a mother with controle freaknessy oyo it can triggers people more than me because i was educate by a woman that i respect and who's loving me idk i loooove when women take the control of anything ahahahah i'm not delulu i know that there is awfull women who traumatised theirs children (mine does too actually very dark past with my mum at some point) it's just a thought that i have a lot how not valuated of being a woman in life is.
and remember that be a mother in a patriarchy is the most thankless work even more if your a racialised one (but it's not legitimate the violence to the children, they're CHILDREN!!!! children are like little slaves for some; they compensate for men's uselessness in household and psychological chores, even more "girl"children.) Gender roles are berkberk
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i've got new glasseeeees. I'm happy, i see way more clearly and i think that my costume for not being arrested is super effective
10.07.2026 i have my periods and i'm not on testosterone so it's hurt as fuck
aaahhhhh i'm nostalgic today
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maybe having a train and cats is a goal in life (but the second i post that i'm like is it really my goal to be in house like that separate from the reality ?)
i have the feeling that i was not really appreciated but i did my best, i'm so tired, need to rest for a week but i have socialisation tomorrow and sunday
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background is not polkadot it's PAWS
(i think it's destroying my eyes)
i put an icon because i'm one uwu
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(08.07.2026) i'm not good today, did a walk, watching some flowers calms me. I want to practice coding but my head is burning aha didn't sleep well at all, i had bad thoughts on the morning) tomorrow i will see some friends, maybe go to the theater. i hope that i'm going to succeed this normal socialisation (i'm scared but i'm not focusing on that i try)
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the right to be shout by the c0ps for "légitime défense" has been voted in France "L’ASSEMBLÉE VOTE LE PERMIS DE TUER XXL" it's terrible. Today i was watching in the street people horrified singing for the genocid3d contries and now that. our contries are so divisided, we need to stay stick together as we can. They are the ennemies and i think that we can found allies in each part of the population for defeat them, they are so powerful and violent with us, the far right in politics have blood on their hands. Knowing this horror happening right now calm my ego and want to be more aware about reducing conflicts between the ones who can hear and trust "no one is free unless everyone is free". Ok i don't like everyone around me but they are the people, they have the fate that being alive without descrimination and war should be the NORM, and my hate dosn't have to reduce my fate and tenderness for the people. We are stronger together and i believe in us. Be a gauchiste is to be a believer aha a big big dreamer about peace and accept the change, supporting movement and cycles of lifes. No traditionnalism, no obscurantism, no reactionnism. We will be pedagogists, i will keep my calm, will take all my priviledges and explain to people which is sailing to the right that their way of thinking is changing. I can proove when someone is about to descriminate an other. it's 2 am and i'm scared of being alone in a war. on my way home i was looking at the golden slabs on the cobblestones who indicated who was murdered by naz1s, they have no respect for the past and they can't even look at the street of the contries they gouvernate.
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i was thinking about having a sex friend maybe but it's maybe only hormones
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i hesitate to create an account with only furries stuff, i used to draw furries ahaha in my souvenirs it was decent i had a bat character and a bunny, hope to refind them
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putting not well croped screenshots of reels all around my layout is an aesthetic :')
also it's funny that's i considerate to have a top surgery OR a fursuit
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my DROIC5141, Approches juridiques des discriminations is the 4th of september 16H (yeay) and idk about racisme and anti racisme SOCA D 50: i need to contact the teachers they said at my art school but it's summerbreak lol I FOUND IT BYMYSELLLFFF https://uv.ulb.ac.be/my/index.php
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i'm addicted to reels again :c i've been off for 1 week and the minute my phone is reconnected i'm becoming a doom scroller patato
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i'm so proud of my fury side more and more, it takes years but i'm ok with it now even if i'm an adult i can experiment it; thanks to my group of friends :3
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https://slushiecafe.neocities.org/ this person is just so cool??? i want to create all my character like them on https://toyhou.se/SlushieCafe is just so clever
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Dear Void on the 6th of 2026's july I begin My Little Pony
(entrain de passer un pur moment)
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?????????? i just passed 1 hour on my phone my braaaaaain and head is hurting
hanw fwiends
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i think i'm not going to take my treatment this summer, it makes me too sweaty lol and i feel very sewxy like that uwu
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i have a little high moment and i think is the end of the substanon (testo injection) cycle, like yeay i'm so happyyyyy ovulation/excitation/sassyyy moment of what feeling very goofy. need to have a walk outside, running idk because if not i'm not gonna sleep, i draw all day so i'm overrrrrrexcited and very tired at the same time. i didn't have rs for one or two weeks on my phone and today i pass 1 hour on it maybe is also that aaaaaaah feeling upupupuppp
mixed
from a Polish Jewish Cabaret
Bundism (Yiddish: בונדיזם, romanized: Bundizm)
ok so today i asked to my grandma about poland and she said that we were gitans, so we didn't speak polish but yiddish as jewish.
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today i will see my family sob
i don't know if this layout is very ergonomic and easy to create around fufufu (it's not)
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today was so good, thank god, i was able to speak to a person about my ulb exams, she said that my works were very good like OWO and i really thought that one of my text was boring but i've got a 16 like oo and an other i didn't pass at the first semester and PASS AT THE SECOND WITHOUT ANY EXAM LIKE grllllll just have to do 2 works for my uni life in augustus that i didn't do (yes i am an uni pirat art student ahahaha what a life (i don't know what i'm doing), i need to take this part of my life a bit seriously now and do my law and sociology homeworks i'm scared but it will be good pinky promise lou)
+ i did 2 hugs today !!! i was thinking about the phrase "presence no solution"
also i went to mum house and i was about to put all my mangas in bags for selling them but my heart saw my prvious little self with them in hands aaaaaarggg why am i nostalgic like that, not ready yet even if it's horrible stories with very very mysoginist parts that i will not reread at all and impact me at severals very serious aspects of not able to say no to man (and put them in the center of the univers with female characters who just exist for the male pleasure) or hypersexualisation of every part of my life. i loved them just so much at the time ;; and see them even now i'm not able to sell them because of this toxic attachement arg why sexism exiiiiiiiiist
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Try to do something cute with wooden boxes as boxes because creativity uyu
my pc is going to explose and me also;
a very inspiring artist !!
plants and nature
having money
disapointing people makes me imperfect as i am (perfection is fantasy and i will excuse myself for things i didn't do right and prove it by action of restauration)
a person from the uni says that my writing and theorical works are good enough to pass (uni legitimated; it's scared me and i spoke about that to her, the fact that i become my own ennemy and academic supremacy even if it's for queer vandalism and so and so : she said that she understand because of her own history; we are a lot in this case)
toera
MLP
furrrrr
https://ribo.zone/free/snippets/
https://uv.ulb.ac.be/my/index.php VERY IMPORTANT FOR MY EXAMS
