Good bye 2025 !

Soja is purring so loud ♡‧₊˚ Nash is sleeping on me

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https://anikai.to/watch/yano-kuns-ordinary-days-44jv#ep=1 watch this anime because it has the name of littlebro and i find that so funny to hear their name 30x in one episode. Stalking and running for each others are real love language or??? the story is going well for the moment it's cute and i like how she propose to him uwu like the drawing each others part, it remind me a lot of moments !!

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went to the cinema with mum saw arco, that was so good

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i really think that a lot of revolutionnary people are medicated and silentify. i'm sad and it's burning inside of me. i don't know what to do when i listen to people who speak to me about that and try to solve the others problems before their own health. i'm like them. we are just big plushies. i'm going to tell the truth again and again, je serai la folle du bus. folle et fiere de l'etre, parce que ce monde est violent et il m'a rendu folle de rage et de tristesse. je suis si triste qu'il tue mes ami.e.s. je serai folle de joie pour chaque survivant.e que je croiserai. c'est ma joie. c'est cet amour que vous avez diagnostiqué comme étant de la folie, maintenant qu'est-ce que j'en fais de ça.

── .✦not zzzz just a little very agited very lightly

maybe i'm afraid of being loved, need to chill about that or afraid about people who reflect my own insecurities
I really think that if you want to survive as a gxrl in the patriarchy, you have to become a witch, a fairy or an animal. Because all my conscient friends look like one of these, it can't be a coincidence

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love the bedrooms of my friends too much. They are like tresors. Now sleep, you have done a lot. tomorrow will be an another big day. Sweet and loved. Because in the silence there is also love. In the chaos, in the morning, in your dreams. There will always be love.

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It was so sweet our moments with her, i overthink everything i have done, i'm okay, everything is okey, she's going to be okay and i hope for her to be happy. I'm anxious about this all situation and i have hard to speak about that. it's deep, deep deep and i don't know how to deal with that. I don't know if i have to, how and if i'm good for her at all.
i am in a divine house, warm, with plants and cats. I just think to much. Feel everything. Know to well and at the same time nothing at all. I am exhausted of the heavyness of emotions and silence. The pression of the past. The present became unbreathable.

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Now i clean the rest of this empty studio with this playlist and going to see Wendyyyy after crossed my fingers, hope everything's fine

everything is going so well, some people give me so much hopes that's incredible thank you for existing !!!!!! Thank a lot to my mum and Maude! (i hug mum and it felt well!) Sol gave me the same energy as Malo, love them!!

☆ ITS MUM'S BIRTHDAY ☆

ok i have 3 hours to put my matress out and clean evrything

(i have a cake and chocolate !!)

── .✦ zzzz almost not sleep at all, thought about people running in my head and fake scenario (need to write about)

i love love love people hanw they can be so cute and i love people !!!!! now sleep Lou, tomorrow is a big day

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to give to my teachers as reference for performance saw that Eve did a manga !! need to make a reference page

https://potofu.me/signup

ok Lou come on, dress yourself and have a little tea, everything is going to be alright
https://www.instagram.com/tsunosame/ feel inspired by some of them illustration of groups of people

── .✦ zzzzzzut not so well

Not sure about the design of next mounth but my eyes are burning, code is a timekiller
haaaaanw i think this page makes so much sense i cryyyy because i have friends now like the character of the story at the end sobsob (who makes a family of friends sorry spoiler but that's so cute)

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i have so much flashbacks, this game was really a big part of my life but i fear that it will actived my nerdy side again snif it's ok dude take it easy
just remember all the lore with all the different Sans in each universe and all the fanfics, it was a wooooorld

I'm doing the january theme (sakura card captor) and i think that the february theme is going to be undertale
or maybe reverse it? Sakura for valentine's day? because of the pink? .=. owh now i'm full of hesitation, i think is going to be that dear. Even if it's clichy it will celebrate the love between Sakura and Tomoyo uwu (idc about shaolan)
Feeling like 16 years old me, searching to undertale's images on pinterest

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take a deep breath and don't compare urself to others

it's 6pm i fear te be sick

Really need to shower myself =, make dinner, write for esprit de nin (make a plan for part 2), prepare stuffs and cleaning, classify (it's not much but it's a need). It's already the 28th of the mounth, please make the time stops ;;

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Crossing people who the name are also Lou is so cheerfull it's a "collect them all" game !!!! it's a very funny connection for me

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thinking about collecting CDs for people i love, like "i don't know this artist but the cover and the title makes me think of you" it's a beautifull add to an other present! and we can can listen together ;; want to sew also, pouches with felt and buttons (as before, it's cute and it lasts over time)

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did not good sleep oyoyoooo feel not so good right now =.= had nightmares, cry, time flies and it's stress me. I eat a cake and now i'm better, sugar is good drug lolz the book in neederlands was maybe not a good idea before zzz or am i allergic to courgette ? my body was so sensitive

── .✦ zzzzzz

headache, stop computer louuuu

── .✦

align self for just one element and it's the same values than align item

── .✦

Need to do my layout for next mounth

write write, want to illustrate with photos for memories

you can change the order of an item just by tying "order:-1or1or2or3 fee of the situation"
fee is "dépendammant" and i think is logic, you can say that in french too. I don't understand when you say in, of or on in english. "depending on the situation" dépendammant is such a weird word, french is so difficult even for native

── .✦

i really speak outloud when i'm studying and that's why i'm not allowed in exam's class. It's cheer me up so much :)) feeling like the genius guy in bakuman with crown

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justify content for the position of an object horizontal and align item for vertical when you use flex, and space between elements
flex direction for column or lign

Went outside, don't buy much because i'm broke asf but took second hand books in dutch (a story of a cat and a "bestieboek dat we zullen met mijn colocatie invullen, ik denk dat is zo zo schattig dat zijn paginas met fotos of jullie te plaken!!! for memories and knowing eachothers i think is super cute") because i realy want to pratice it. Resolution is to learn English, Dutch and Html/CSS. (buying books in the language i want to learn is my love language to myself uwu) there was One Piece in italian !!! Maybe Japenese too but i think i will translate music for learning it

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https://flexboxfroggy.com/

── .✦

just have to charge my battery, have seen a lot my family, it's drainy and after i will be ready again !!!
want to see the next episode of haikyu
Need to go ouuuuuut for grocery and gifts motivatioooon

── .✦

i slept very weirdly, at every night i ask myself if i'm gonna sleep, like "is it ok if i have a sleepless night?"it's never ok dude, my skin was so itchy again i don't understand, maybe it was the two jogg or deshydratation

── .✦

my friend send me picture of them on the toilets acting super cute and i think is a big step in our relationship

every time i see her video i want to go shopping huhu⤵ it's 1pm ooooo ugh i stare at sakura's images and collect them all

── .✦ zzzzzz

translate the lyric and is very not ok oyo⤵ Need to add books and musics to this page !!

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2 people watch me very very angry, mocking and like disgusted. It was so sad and violent. I try to think that they are just not used to see people with alt looking appareance but it can be very hard to just move around. I think is cool and funny to be different but it can be very dangerous i know and i'm scared most of the time i'm shopping. Fear of the clients but also the owners who think i'm stealing and watch me. Yeaaaaay it's "normal" because of harassment that we are so introvert, i am sure that introversion (and being shy) is a causality from the environnement (we are yapping when judgy people are not there)

── .✦

Finding gifts for Wendy, Envy, Mom, iano and Sable;
Now i stop because too much can be oppressive
I just need to find a gift for a friend of my mum !! Also for Mat (it's harder but i think of something maybe)
I like when i make gifts for people after the date of Christmas (it's so stressfullll, hate deadline)

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Make myself a little beauty in the mirror today ♡ cut my hair; i'm looking good !!

── .✦

so happy to see my not so.imaginary friend from internettt feel you gxrl it was sooooo hard to wake up

── .✦ zzzzz

Tomorrow i have nothing to do and i think is the most great thing in the universe + i have a cake

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internet is so cooollll aaaah

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Need to make the january page !! maybe sakura card captor theme??? (the agenda is not working well for me need to have a board to fill like on paper, need to figure it out orrrr don't do it because i can have just the physical one it's okay)

me tonight after passing by, also want to code and make everything so nice but at the same time drawing on paper and write

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Very important message to myself ⤵⤵⤵⤵⤵

i can taptap on my laptop and burn my eyes agaaaaain yeayyyy

── .✦

no computer i lost my charger

── .✦

it's been such a long time since i watch an anime !!! i want to do volleyball with lilbro now èwé

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── .✦

think about working more on my files before serigraphit

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if someone dosn't like me its ok :))

── .✦ not so good zzzz

want to play pokemon so bad
https://gloomythoughts.neocities.org/ecriture
Good good gooooood, it was good. I cross my finger very tightly

── .✦ zzzzz

one day, i will just chill on my ds i really think thatt waking up people unaturally is torture that we have legitimated =_=

── .✦ zzzzz did it, feel like a normal person !

Now i stop to dive on people's life, i'm just full of stress to confront mine aaaaaaaaaaaaaaam'sorry ;=;
i'm speechless everything so beautiful
https://coffeeplant.neocities.org/ this person has a postcards collection i cryyyy that's so awesome
https://garfriend.me/sketchbook%20shelves aaaaaaah (⁠๑⁠♡⁠⌓⁠♡⁠๑⁠)

https://swiftyshq.neocities.org/fun/hole/ so cool !!
https://leizy8499.neocities.org/ people are just so amazing

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Aaaaaaaaaaaah everything has changed, moving out is tomorrow but not really at the same time. The big part of big objects with a car.
Mum helped me al lot during 2h thank to her infinitely
Need to clean a little and lock in all night to it
https://www.discogs.com/release/14814869-Pomme-Les-Failles listen to pomme it's been a while, i used to a lot

── .✦

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEOQ1-Y-1ZU want to watch it when time , sad to not have the time to pratice drawinggg also

── .✦

https://gloums.neocities.org/ make a great work i think, i have a lot to add and make but i see how it's going, now i can touch some grass, my eyes are burning gosssh
feeling lost at every new page i make lolz, ok i work for skoul until 3pm after gogo cartons

── .✦

cute or not??????

Sometimes i like the esthetic of raw look, in the software, think is cute

── .✦ zzzzzzzz

gloums.neocities.org looks like it's haunted atm and i think it's very funny i try my best and i think i will do a good one but later, je pense que je vais juste garder le about et le reste va tourner autour sans que y ai de redirection à chaque fois pour tous jsp il est 4 du mat lol

ok i can't sleep so i'm just gonna remake all my website

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https://xiu2.carrd.co/# want to remember this one and maybe do my commision page too

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Send to 27 etablissements, wish me good luuuccckkk
just took photos for my cv i look like a creepy smily man please don't diffuse it, trying my best ono and i think smiling photos are important for finding a job
Maybe i will get rid of my piercings for money

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── .✦

2 boxes, 4 bags, 2 furnitures
did all the bathroom, vacuum yeay

Lock in for 30min!! cleaning and packing go!!
i am so disctract i want to do my website and browse the internet aaaah i avoid my responsabilities
i want to add the drawings i made each mounth under the layout, just as a reminder that i have to do my portfolio huhu

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t'es si joli.e quand tu crames la poubelle keurkeur
I'm broken and you're superglouuu

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXTKM4lyIrM haaaaaaaanw

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1312!!

── .✦ zzzz good night !

i don't care about anything at all now, just going to become my own dreamy crush, want to run in a park and do silly dances all alone

There is a bunch, a million at least, people who hate me/us just because of some parts of my/our idenditie so why am i a people pleaser like that? I should be used to it. Don't give a shit and focus on people who accept me, they are real, like physicaly all around me, don't seek for attention where you can't. I should believe them. Trust your friends not your inner demons. Pleaaaaase

── .✦

one bag of clothes, a furniture, one box

── .✦

everything is going to be alright, one thing at a time

gave me a hair cut that looks a little like Sakura Card Captor makes me happy, i'm a simple human after all

── .✦

think about to make a zine of "how to make what i do on computer" for Esprit de Nin

Spoke about anime with lillovelybro and maybe i will watch haikyu because is one of their favourite, saw malo and it heals me deep inside, crossed my grandma haaaaaaaaaanw she is so so sooo want to be with her, i'm so lucky because my house will be just next to her. give me anxiety at the same time so i will talk about that to my terapist because i don't have to "hide" anything (my friends to my family or my family to my friend, or myself to everyone) I think there is something there

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Being out, in a soirée, is so difficult, so much effort, informations, people talking, things to look at but i love it so much at the same time. i just don't know how to enjoy without dying inside

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i barely want to live everytime i discover a new place with new people wtfff just before crossed people of my chilhood, didn't know how to deal with that, i don't know where i'm safe anymore.

── .✦

super day but i just want to be in a bubble of silence sorry guys, love you all so much but aaaaaaaaaaaa i think i think to much, i feel like a fraud all the fucking time
headache, have the nausea, don't know if it's stress, indigestion, too much noise and colours or idk what's wrong with me, i think i will read and calm down

── .✦ zzz

it's midnight and I can't sleep so i just will work, don't recommend but i don't know what to do and i have a degree to work on
Make myself a little infusion and go for a sleepless night again uwu
No, i just remember; i have to reboot my brain, so i will try harder and softly, never stop healing Lou, evrything is going to be ok, nights are also there for you to recover, don't be afraid

── .✦

What a stressfull day

Sometimes i want to give all i have and at the same time i am really a "nest-maker" with tones of material souvenirs. But i already sold 3 books and that's a lot :))

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move 7 bags of books and 2 cartoons, 2 furnitures
So exhausted, i want to draw and remake all the project i've done

── .✦

Just sold a book at 10euros on vinted yass
I look at every prices in my library and thought about the money it could makes me, that's not healthy but be broke is a glass on the world.
But mayyyybe one or the others
Found "Un monde de ciel et de terre - Aleksandar Hemon" that i didn't like in the past, give it an other try now before maybe sell it. I'm not used to read man so it's difficult to follow for me. Found also "Petit piment de Alain Mabanckou" that i have for a whiiiile but did'nt read yet. "Différents - Frans de Waal" also but flemme, i read tons of books about gender huhu maybe one day idk
Just sold an other one, books are going to be my next business aha

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her carnet is so beautifull goshhh

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went to erg, love them all so so so much, that's the best dopamine shoot to have
Yona's work is sooooo yummy

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my toxic trait is to think i can do that

https://cavetown.bandcamp.com/album/running-with-scissors

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Slept a little, bd was not today lol
Have a bad indigestion, need to stop eating gluten but is so easy to eat it by mégarde là

Supposition par rapport à mes insomnies!
On m'a forcé.e à être disponible à ces heures-là, je dois reconditionner mon corps et esprit "non je dors". Je suis assez forte pour me protéger.

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I am amazed how i am productive between 5am and 7

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Read Immensita from Victoire de Changy it was delicious, despite the fact of weird behaviors of the characters i think but personnal taste maybe, the world is so great and i am seduced by how she writes, sometime i was a little distracted but never completly lost :)) (my critics are always the best)

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Redo all my mounth to be responsive yeaaaaay i have understand

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i know i need to love how my brain fonction but how am i suppose to do of i don't sleep, it's a nightmare
There is the 12 hours of comics making and i was so excited for it but with a sleepless night i don't know how things will be
Will do my best

── .✦ no zzzz

had a little sleep this night, went to my therapist, saw friends, that was gooooood, found flowers on the street and gave it to mum.
Took all my medecine appointments, feel proud :))

── .✦ zzzz

don't know when i updated last time but here i am, i don't know what to tell, i think i will do my best lol that's it

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WHfmbCmuuc want to do this kind of activity all day
Updated Envy's blog, it's going to be a long customisation now i'm going to sleep, good night internet i have hope for you

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i'm thinking about doing a dead flowers commerce above our house and i found a good book for one for Malo hihi if i achieve to trift it

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There is the p0lice just at my window uwwwwh, when i went home i stressed so much aha "they are there for me" but i'm not in jail, not yet ~ hope everyone is ok i don't know what's happening but there is a lot of robocops update: they're gone it's 10pm

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OcjRusqgEOg

Today i wanted to go to bubble festival but mum needed my help with the stuff i have accumulate at her place, really have to think about that. I organised, do my vinted business, chatychat. I have to focus on pack my moving out cardboards, my comicbook, my cursus, read and draw !! Do also my site ouille, must lock in on it. I just have the feeling i don't have day off ono

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i don't know what happen yesterday, i think... so we are sunday aaaah yes yesterday was good !!! found gifts for friends yipi and after i visited the next appartement i'm going to !!! it was so soft and good, we must take care of the time because eveything goes so quick !! My room is very small so i must imagine how to organise it, the view is so charming i think it's what i love the most about it

── .✦ zzzz two days later https://youtu.be/RKT8LerRLO0?si=lr4RGnB-YPlv4AWg
https://youtu.be/tWYTVD9d4QU?si=pRzKexmRbJp8fD5d

Need to say "i love you" to people i love because it's so so so true and i love clarity, if i don't say it to them how they will know ???

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Qcd_uKyuiU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-P8qLR59yvg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbZevwctqSs
Today was a very very ok day !!! Saw friends, my teachers were very happy with my work and evrything is going to be well with the studio !!
I think i need to ask to Apo if she wants to be friend with me idk

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I have to work a lot before sleep pfiuuuu i have the impression i never stop but don't really work at the same time. My life is all the time so fragile. I have this impression.

it's already 8pm, chatychat with friends it was so cool, love them all. We make a hug with Sableblebleeee, she's not very good atm and Malo neither, i think we are all in a winter mood atm but we keep each others warm and cosy. We gonna make it !!

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Went to university cursus and it was so good. Talk about the algorithmics in law and how they are discriminant and how to proove it

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My proprio told me that all the people i choose were too poor. Yeay yes is iiiit, we are queer and in precarity. I was devasted, annonced it to people i like. They are very understanding ofc because we know. Now i'm not gonna choose anymore. Did a seconde annonce on not lgbtqia+ socials and have to send her the dossier before visits. Hate this industry.

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the night was not good BUT i slept a little (very weird night oh gosh, fake scenario and nightmares) i wish that what i dreamed about will happen but it takes time, energy and it's ok, maybe it's not and it's ok too, my life is so good but unsure at the same time. I romantise maybe to much but i have the impression that i really don't do it compares to others. I think i don't understand things and too well at the same time. I have a big crush on someone and i have to speak about it more. Just because i think it's healthy to speak. It's not a shame to be in love. It's so so hard for me to express my feelings gosh. Reaaaaaally have to figure it out. Because i'm gonna explose ahaha

── .✦ zzzzzzzz

Respond to everyone yeay so tomorrow i'm going to scan my drawings at arg and after i go to ulb for law cursus and call proprio and draw

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my proprio wants to call me tomorrow at 5 ono it's like i've made a mistake

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ef3_8MVSePY she's such a part of me
MarySunray is making a video a day in decemberrrr i grow up with her, she's putting Undertale songs at anytime she can and i love her dedication !! We are really not in the same mood and she's not engaged at all, not queer, not very aware, not not not but she is alive and i'm happy to see her time to time

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have a loooot of anxiety every time i have 2 minutes of reflection yeay my skin is so so etchy, don't think Lou everything is okey now

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just have reminiscence of the day and i think that when i didn't sleep i'm like drunky, very talky and social idk and now i come trough back and cringe about myself of oversharing ono

went home for sleep at 6pm, fall of heavyness of my dead body with a pure bliss. Fall asleep as in a infinite cushion. Open my eyes and see 7pm. My body. just sleep. one hour. after a sleepless night ahahaha wth
was laughing at that, make a dinner and i saw that lilhoneybear had post a new video what a lovely evening ‹𝟹

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my life is so good aaaaaah thank you all people around me, i'm so lucky !!

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i'm actually quite productive, very very slow but it's ok, all my body hurts, hope i will sleep next night, have to tenir le coup. I've make a page where i just put images i like and don't want to forget, that's so cool, look like my wall when i was a teenager :))

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hiiii a super styly person follows me on neocities, thats so cool, my first one !!

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text my therapist because i'm in crisis for too long now and it's exhausting, makes me fear

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1y_uF1SeYw want to be this cat with a piano playing and no voices in the head
thinking about redoing classic guitare

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not zzzz att all, it's going to be a ruff day, sleepless night oh myyyy the worst feeling. i will do my best. Just pretend to be a very morning person who eat their breakfast at 5am

── .✦ not zzzzz

Need to see mum once a week because it's really important, have to make much more efforts

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sobbing because i don't understand how to do what i want to make in coding, it was fun, now it's so complicated , ça m'a saoulé

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mum ask to me to come gogogogogooo i'm going to work at her place if i can after helping her, maybe i can take shoes in photo

ok so to do list of the day, did already really great: go to ce, speak with Sable and Ambre, make my website with the good advices, need to do column, cyber i make the package for Andrea, now go to the point de dépot, can be a good pause take some air.

waking up at 12am agaaaaaaaain

── .✦ zzzzzz

When i love someone it's ok to say it, i can make compliments and be enjoyed by others, it's okkkkkkk i'm not in the cage i used to be!

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I really like Isa and Vizette, we had so lovely chattings, just focus on them. He's just in the paysage

it just activate to much things in my head.i'm in the present don't let the past invade you

today i was a petit fantome of myself, i yaped a lot. I have to say to people that i don't know very much more than them and they teach me a lot, don't forget that. And also there was a cisman and i forgot everytime how they explain to you the things you obviously already know. Sometime i'm just speechless and the gaselight alien me, i'm used to it and i don't have to. It's break my head aftershot because i'm like "wait a minute" ..... it's happening ! want to scream to him when i realise. They are very nice and cute, it was a good moment and i'm happy to be able to do socialisation. just there is a man (also he's white and from a rich family). I can't. And the fact that i became on other person by doing a lot of efforts to just try to transform him into a possibility of "ok you can do it Lou", aaaaah exausted don't invite me when there is cisman i'm just not going to be good with myself and others. i try very hard i promise. i want to educate myself to just be able to be in their space without péter un cable

looking to my agenda and i already know that club textile is dead for me, so sad snifou

tonight is crepes party yeay, i'm like a dead marionette with two strings fufu found dino and unicorn stickers i will share with them all

Everything is going to be great, didn't go to school but found a baguette at 1euro and eat it with vegan nuggets, healthy isn't it?

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The voices in my head are so loud today it's horrible

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insomnia hits hard, didn't sleep until 7am, canceled evrything and wake up at 12am

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https://youtu.be/jm_d3xKJJMc?si=qHGtL2rcvz6lj0R3

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for cours de droit i think i will do an essay about consentement,inceste et patriarcat in jurisprudence because there was a chapter about that in the cursus and i will take Manon Garcia as a ref and it's always a good choice to take someone you fell something, for racisme et anti racisme i will do an essay about les amalgames antisémite and genocide, l'etoile de david comme nouvelle croix gammée là, surely that Tal Madesta had something to say about that, pour politique d'exposition vandalisme queer et l'entraienemnt à la désobéissance with morgaaaaane i write as a reminder before sleep (i hope)

really need the advices of Sable huhu for the "layers (?)" of my site, i think there is some fantomes (? exemple when i click on the youtube player, it clicks on the notes) and also about webdavs

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Have my subbbbbbbb yeay i can make a mp3 playlist !!! and mp4 of what i want idkkkk maybe animation ???
Have 2 websites !! Now i can make a new personnal opening page !!!

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Go out for a walk. Being a vandal is really like being batman without the money

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I love Manon Garcia so much, found her years ago when she talked about politic identities and had to write her words deep inside of me. Love this new book of course.

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Tired of cryiiiiing

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbeoyjB2pjQ i think it's time to watch that~~
it's horrible for me to listen to people i have the same diagnosic because i relate to much to a lot but it's good, need to listen to things where i'm involved. Doesn't have to be scare to know, it's ok.
Need to write everything she said ahah i used to listen to her before, maybe i can continue now, don't know why i stoped. (edit: i think it was because i was tired of introspection and psycho treatment/diag (hate the bipolaire/borderline a therapist told me when i was only an abused teenager), just wanna have fun but i just returned to old schema. It's hard but it's good this time. Inspire, expire, everything is going to be ok)

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Checkkkkk list of today gogogo
Respond to messages (did it ! not everyone but the most urgent and send one very important about the mooving out)
Mail (aide sociale paper)
Clean my basement (kitchen and bathroom first, cheeeeck, everything is cleaned, hands hurt huhu)
Go for a long walk, to a parc or just a ride
Trash out
Need to draw but oyo times flies

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i think i recreate a tropical ambiance for my plant, love them so much but i think it's give my place a heavy air
took ricecakes with dark chocolate, chips, green tea and apples.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qu63VIeVXiU

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Maybe i have to figure it out where i am in the aroace spectrum because i am not sure how to speak about that without give a bunch of informations (cause i create the thoughts while i explain something i can't really name) because giiiiirl i'm obsess and i don't like that. I just think that we mix so much obsession and love, i can't understand wich one is romantism and sexuality, 'cause i feel in my body so much, i just don't want to. I'm scare as hell.

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have vertiges, it's like everything is impossible
But i will go out, just for the ricecakes with darkchocolate
i want to do a tour, see people but reallyyyyy have to work and respond to admin people

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from the age of 8 my dream is to not be insomniac, i wish everyday to be able to sleep without fear it's a trap that i experiment as a fatality (but is not i have hopes !!!)
not very positive thoughts today but i'm good !!

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6A_JiMKUtTI cloot cloot (we really don't have the same taste in books and i think is fun huhu i don't like Dostoïevski and she is a big fan, she discover him now so i understand, i had a thing with him at first, i just became a misandrist who can't read man)

i think i just really want to play video games

make very weird dreams atm. Like this one this night, i was at a place (don't know, it was at school i think) and there is a guy with a portable console and the new Pokemon on it, he was playing and i was so happy to see the little personnage run, command by theirs fingers on the joystick and buttons. I said "wow amazing the personnafication of the character, they have piercings and tatoos !!" he smiled, we just said good bye and after i understood that the character looked very like me

wake up at 12am is really not a life that i recommend but cloot post a video so i will figure my life in 30min

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I like person who create a space with me, like a relationship. A space where we evolve but don't fill it because there is always a place for every one.

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https://popisbubbles.neocities.org/

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22:22 !!

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Sometimes is not i don't want to talk about something but i don't know how, where to start. So i have to say that i don't know how, not i don't want or "i can't", i think is important. I have to think about how to figure it out. It's not about the person, i can speak about everything with everyone but i need to be fluid and feel how to with eachones

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https://nenrikido.neocities.org/webrings/journalring/

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went to poetesse that was so warmy and cosy

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VSeaWiMDns
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaoVpVXcZsA

I sold an antifa stickers by vinteeeeed that's amazing

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I always want to respond "handle my life together" softly when someone ask what i have done recently

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Olga showed us her gameboy and it makes me instantly want to play !!!

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Wanted to be aside to a new person who i want to know and draw with them, but at the same time having to much things to do at home on computer so i escaped.
Saw a lot of beautiful piece of numerique art today, very impressed by the genius brain of people!!

Have achieved to say calmy my limits to someone and be cheered up by my friend

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Hello, i tried to have something who can handle my life, here's my attemp.

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I have to remember that i belong to do art and steal food.

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I choose miffy as a theme of this first month because it's confort me, i used to buy stuff from this character 'cause it's easy to find in my city. I remember when it started to be sold at Hema or Zeeman, i was so so happy.

Focus of the mounth:

Making money
And art art art
friends friends friends